As a result, she begins waking up with a new family every day. This allows us to see these families in a completely different light. The problem is, she stops waking up in the new families by page 40! The script then shifts to a love story between her and her neighbor. The hook, the reason we come to see the movie, is abandoned. And while the relationship between the two is cute, we can see it in any teen movie or TV show.
The premise is why we showed up in the first place. So why aren't we exploring it? On the opposite end of the spectrum is Brad Cutter. The premise of a guy being roped back into his high school days is milked in every single scene, in every single moment, in every single line. And like any good comedy script, it weaves these moments in with a nice story. Dave Fischman had it rough in high school. He sported the greasy hair, the bad acne. Brad Cutter went to his first senior prom in eighth grade.
And he lost the acne. And he trashed the head brace. And he got a job at a great company. Obviously, physical manifestations of thoughts and emotions are mainstays of effective screenwriting. But surely, if a character is angry, shocked, embarrassed, etc. Check out this script excerpt where the protagonist, Dave, is in a conference room with his boss and coworkers. I have an important announcement to make this afternoon.
Hard workers, creative people, smart businessmen and women. And it takes a lot to impress me. So when I see a person with that special combination of smarts, skill, charisma and character, I jump at it. He arrived a few minutes ago and I sent Cathy to bring him in so you all could meet him right away.
Ladies and gentleman Holy shit! Dave gasps. Standing next to Whitman is the one and only He looks great. Cutter points to a guy near the front. Everyone laughs. And in those five minutes, Dave feels about five years closer to high school. In a great moment, the boss introduces Brad to Dave, and Dave tries to explain to Brad, through numerous examples, that they went to school together. Horrified, Dave tries to play it off.
Of course the cooler Dave tries to be, the less cool he becomes. The plan totally backfires though, when Leah hits it off with Brad and Jenny a little too well. Soon, even his own future wife is one of the cool kids, and he's even further outside the circle.
If Dave doesn't find a way to overcome his obsession with popularity and make this thing right again, his life is as good as over. The script is chock full of hilarious moments. This forces him to drag his chair a few inches, reach back and drag the table a few inches, drag his chair another few inches, reach back and drag the table…all the while making this terribly loud screeching noise that causes everyone to stop eating and stare at him. I guess it feels rushed and slightly disconnected.
That third act bridge is a tough one to cross for any script, and Cutter could benefit from a quick smoothing out here. Share to Twitter Share to Facebook. No comments:. Newer Post Older Post Home. Subscribe to: Post Comments Atom. Please do not change this code for a perfect fonctionality of your counter applied arts. Top Copyright isidefblog All rights reserved.
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